Snuggle Fest

I woke up this morning sticky, sweaty and bed head that could give Bigfoot a run for his money.  Last night after countless lullabies, drinks of water and endless trips to the bathroom..come 10:30pm, baby girl was still awake in her bed. I had more than my fair share of studying that needed to be done but for this night I set my papers down, took her into my arms and headed for that big soft chair in the corner of my room.  I settled in and held my baby tight and sang her every primary song I could think of until she drifted off to dreamland...but unlike every other night, I did not quietly carry my baby back to her big girl bed to tuck her in.  Instead, I gently laid her next to me in my and drifted off to sleep myself.  I wouldn't say it was a sound night sleep (because it wasn't) but as I laid next to my little girl breathing in her strawberry scented hair that insistently tickled my nose, I was content.

I have so many friends out there whose hearts are aching and arms are empty. Some that would give a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. to have little arms and legs hitting/kicking them all night long.  As I laid watching her little chest rise and fall, an over-whelming sense of gratitude washed over me.  How grateful I am that I am blessed enough to have a health little girl to call my own.  How privileged I am for the responsibility to raise her the best I know how...to teach her everything I know.  I get to get be her mom...and for that, I thank my Father in heaven each and every day.

Even though I didn't get much sleep last night, I held my little furnace as close to me as I could.  I wrapped my arms around her and loved her with every thing my body possessed.  I did this because I want my baby to know that I love her, more than I could every put into words.  I did it because even though she's sound asleep I want her to feel her mama's love.  I want her to know that no.matter.what I will always, always love her. I also did it for you, my friend.  To let you know I'm thinking of you... I'm always thinking of you, especially this night.

I want you to know that I don't take these sleepless nights for granted. I want to you know that because of you, instead of getting frustrated or over-whelmed I take a deep breath and let it all soak in.  When baby girl is screaming her guts out or throwing a fit, I find myself trying to ingrain in my memory the look of her face as mad as can be. You make me a better mama. I want you to know that your sacrifice isn't forgotten on me.  I hug my little girl a little harder and love on her a little longer because I know that it's only for a brief moment that I get her like this.  All to quickly she'll be off to school then driving a car and then starting a family of her own.  I want to make sure that I take the time to enjoy all the moments...good and bad, big and small, because I know you can't...Oh, but someday you will (someday REAL soon) and I can't wait for that day!  I can not wait to share in your joy and utter/complete happiness when that day comes!  I am so grateful for your strength, for your courage to carry this burden in this life.  I don't think I could be as strong.  You are AH-MAZ-ING! You are a rock star. My heart is always with you.

xoxo
Marie